So here is my latest stream of consciousness blog entry:)

I have so many plans and goals …that’s when i head straight for the fridge, before long I have pulled out every single item in there. Its a great way to distract myself. I get lost in vegetable land, end up making way to many tasty dips, sauces, pates and desserts, become exhausted by the whirlwind of creative genius that took me over all to wind up looking at a mountain of dishes; and then I still have the issue i was hiding from to address…all to say that i am letting go of “creating” as an avoidance technique. I always have Emily and other friends that help me remember the truth when that fear monger pops up and try’s to scare the Bjesus out of me with crap like your dreams won’t come true, you should probably move and find a real job, your not worthy of receiving you can’t even get your eating under control. SHUT UP… I mean thank you for coming, you no longer serve me so i’m letting you go now, have a great day.
Just take the next step, find a way to be lovingly accountable.

love & laughter will set you free….

what does it mean to be a friend- a committed relationship (soul mate) everyone is

shout out to my wart…just a little guy sitting on top my foot - reminding me that nothing in the world is ugly…even you little warty McWart…I will see your beauty and love you up until you disappear into the nothingness from whence you came!!! Tell the truth, tell the truth, tell the truth

Getting clear on letting go- love before appearances- has always resonated with me…everytime i read it or hear it i think hell ya! That’s whats wrong with people they put the look of things before asking the question is this the most loving thing I could do, be, say ….Whatever, you get the drift! But recently, on the home front i’ve really started to cultivate that more in myself…cuz frankly I don’t give a shit what you do, say, be, have - I think its all very perfect, and the most perfect thing about it is that it all reflects a part of me. I know that when I change things around me change! Ya & Thank God!!! Praise Jesus!!! I’ve got the power to make changes, to create positive, life giving, self liberating CHANGES

Read this book today that is on having more love in your life, and one of the exercises was to scream….and I thought oh la la I’ve gotta try that and see what happens…guess what ?!? It was freakin’ awesome. My housemate was at a wedding so i had the place to myself! The screaming took place in the shower…so i went from screaming to yodeling, to chanting…it was loud and some of it was really high pitched, and then it got softer and deeper….I feel like a have a new lease on life (I highly recommend screaming) I used to be so focused on meditation & well frankly it seemed to do more harm then good, that’s when Osho found me and taught me about catharsis…God Bless Him…that changed my life too. In fact that’s the only thing that I will blog about, life changes …positive, lovely, delicious, orgasmic life changes…yep eat your heart out cuz i’m keepin’ it real.

I will always post a recipe with each blog not just cuz i’m opening a super duper cool kick ass raw vegan restaurant, it really has to do with the fact that i process most of life’s heavy, sweet, supple, divine data while consciously creating the most fantaz recipes on the face of the earth. And then I sit here wit ya’ll and let all flow from my fingertips like magic, like smooth buttery magic. Yep. Yep. Yep. Actually the main reason for my blogging isn’t for you, i’m overjoyed that you will be able to take something away from my writing if YOU CHOOSE but the main reason that i sit her clicking away time and time again is because i find what comes out to be humorous and cathartic. Yep, Yep, Yep…that’s why i do it! So i’m going to recap for myself- new favorite things to do…scream, dance, & laugh! Yay. Oh don’t forget about clapping…you like clapping Ashley, oh why yes i do. I feel a little silly clapping in public, but i’m going to change now, i used to feel silly clapping in public…now i live for perfect self expression. I AM A LIFE GIVING, WORLD CHANGING, POWERHOUSE…with a redneck twist…yep I cam from the sticks, way out in Peru, New York…its a rinky dink town way up near the canadian boder and I’m damn proud of it….so folks…what Ashley is experiencing is the joy of Self Acceptance…If you haven’t tried it on yet I deeply, strongly, fervently urge to do so….My happiness meter just went up 27,000 points.

K, thanks for being You…i’m over it now…think i’m going to go make some food, but not before i dig through myself in search of the perfect recipe to post!

Oh la la …this one is called Soulid (don’t take it cuz my housemate wants to get it trademarked and I think its a good idea….she came up with it and its pure genius. Ya can’t wait until my next post rant…Its going to be a rant of Appreciation to Her…her name is Emily, yep Emily Shaules…love her to pieces.

Speaking of love…saw someone i loved today and i didn’t say it. In fact i may have sounded ridiculous… I don’t even remember what i said. I just blabbed on cuz i was nervous. So i’m going back in brain, in my mind and changing it ….the new and improved interaction would have gone like this…So he sees me and waves…dun dun dun….I’m always sweaty and walking out of the dance room and wave back…i think to my self, self should I go over and say hi or just keep walking towards the lockeroom…oh no he’s taking out his ear phones…ok just say a quick hi and then bolt for the pool…he’s getting closer…and yep he does it…he hugs me…and i say a oh geez i’m all sweaty squeamishly, but apparently that didn’t really matter. Score ten points for me i got physical contact. Then he touches his nostrils and I think oh geez…do i have something on my face… that’s when i’m sure i closed it up quick, well tried to and then yep it happened again, he leaned in for another hug. The End…no just kidding. Ya i just guess i’m realizing that i’m enthusiastic! For Real I Am …well my authentic self is enthusiastic and i now invite her out to play a whole heck of a lot more, i feel as though i have a seven year old trapped in a 26 year old’s body, and if i am being any way other than enthusiastically in pure joy and delight for the awesomeness of all that life is then I don’t feel quite right. Anyway, back to what I would have done… I would have said HELLO! opened my arms wide, giving him a tight, sweaty squeeze while rocking side to side gently…then i would have stepped back, looking him square in the eyes and said every time I see you my heart sings. I love you, I really truly love you! But it would have been with an enthusiastic tone in a playful way, not a lets get married i can’t stop thinking about you way…although he does cross my mind often.

Ok…i’m focused now…i really am going to start typing about the Soulid creation.
Anywho i have to tell you its history (or in our case herstory)…So I got this idea from some fabulous raw foodists to make a savory stew…and i have seen some people chop up vegetables into large chunks and then poor a blended soup concoction over the top and call that a savory stew, i thought well ok that is good…but i’m not a big fan of knawing on all those large hunks, but i am bored with just having straight creamy soups…and this is when it struck me. I will put a salad in my soup …but not just any ordinary salad, a food processed salad. And what this entails is:

I take celery and chop it up, radish and chop it up (and these can be in large chunks cuz its going in the food processor) Now through these things in with some almonds or other nuts into the fp with 2 handfuls of chopped greens, some lemon juice, garlic and sea salt and any other veggies that tickles your fancy …now process…and now VWALLLLAAAHH…you have a magical easier to eat and digest salad which i then place into my creamy green soup…so now I get the nourishment of extra greens and veggies and i get to chew chew & chew, which makes me feel more satisfied!!! (For Now) oh but back to the story, so Emily basically fell off her chair when she tried this one (and i clapped with joy) and then I told her my story about its creation and she exclaimed we should call it Soulid …get it soup + salid = soulid…i told you it was genius :0

Soulid
1/2 cucumber
large handful of cilantro
1/4 of an avocado

*Blend the above ingredients …this is the soup portion.

Salad Portion
*1 clove garlic
2 TB lemon juice
pinch of salt and cumin
large handful of almonds
1 -2 stalks celery
2 radishes
2 leaves of swiss chard (cut the stem out and cut into pieces)

*Now pulse until it is well combined and chuncky…then scoop into your soup mixture for a purely sensational meal!!! Amen, Om Shanti, Blessed Be, Jai Ma…thank you God Self and dearest life self!!! You rock …thank you for using me and allowing me to create goodness like a madwoman!!!

Ok …i feel very vulnerable now that i just shared so much, but i’m just going to let it go knowing that everyone and everything is perfect, even me and my cathartic blog post.

Vulnerably Yours,
Carefree Ashley